Uh oh, I’m too far down the line on snack sign-up list

Posted in Mom Stuff
by besttech

By Debra Legg 9to5to9.debralegg.com

Serious strategic error in signing up for soccer snacks this season: I was too far away from the coach’s wife when the sheet went around and I’m stuck with a November game.

Tragically, that’s near the end of the season, allowing far too much time for snack insanity to set in.

Last year, I was right beside the coach’s wife and had my choice of dates, except for the season opener she claimed. I picked the second game.

That gave me a training week to get a feel for what was considered an appropriate snack in these parts — post-game feed has been controversial in some places. Then I could do my thing and clear out before the haul escalated and the pressure mounted.

The first week, Kim showed up with Ritz Bitz, mini raisin boxes and Capri Sun. That was so do-able I was ready to cheer. I made sure we shopped for the following week while that memory remained burned in Big Guy’s brain, and my evil plan worked. He picked SpongeBob Cheez-Its and lemonade boxes with only a token arm-twisting.

I later added prefab apple slices — he didn’t approve, but the fruit gauntlet had been laid down.

My choice of dates turned out to be brilliant. The next week there were homemade chocolate chip cookies nicely wrapped in cellophane and ribbon. Next came sugar cookies iced as soccer balls nestled in birthday party-style goodie bags.

Sanity returned the week the dad was in charge, but the rest of the season was a dizzying blur of fancy treats in pretty packaging. I kept waiting for a tiered cake. Honestly, I did see one mom from another team walk in with a bakery box holding a decorated sheet cake.

It’s not that I begrudge the other mommies the time and effort they put into the snacks. OK, I’m lying. I do a little. OK, I’m still lying. I do a lot, because they’re living the Fantasy Mommy Me I thought I’d be.

Back in the day Before Children, I was the one who created party cookies and birthday cakes for co-workers’ kids. I labored dreamily, imagining the day when I’d do the same for my children.

Silly, silly girl. Wipe the powdered sugar dust from your eyes and face reality: You were baking for their kids because they didn’t freaking have time to do it.

Last week’s snack supplier gets a A from Realistic Mommy Me: Dora the Explorer cookies, fruit snacks and Capri Sun. Perfect! I’m praying the rest follow her example. Knowing my luck, I’ll follow the mom who totes in creme brulee on a silver cart.

On the other hand, Nov. 1 could turn out to be an inspired pick. Maybe the kids will be so fried on sugar the day after Halloween that I can get away with carrots and rice cakes.

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Debra Legg is a writer and mother of two boys, Big Guy and Little Guy. Read more of their adventures in chaos at 9to5to9.debralegg.com.