A bully on the pre-school playground

Posted in Mom Stuff
by besttech

My little girl is 3. I know someday she’ll face the minor traumas that befall us all in junior high. And I expect a healthy dose of dramatic hormones and attitude when she hits her teen years. And maybe make that more than a healthy dose – payback can be brutal and I remember what I was like at age 15. I think I’m probably in for it.

But I’m not ready for any bully to be pestering, pulling, or punching my innocent young preschooler. My gentle little Kenzie has mentioned all year that a certain somebody on occasion hits, pushes, or scratches her. I didn’t think much of her stories as I figured its all part of growing up. And really, what could I do about it anyhow?

As a concerned Mother, I’d always ask if she was okay and what did she do in response to his actions. Her answer was always, “Nothing Mommy.”

And I’d tell her, “Good. Feel free to tell your teachers about it if they don’t see him hit you, but never ever hit back.”

Unfortunately, it appears the bullying or physical moves have somehow reached new heights which merited an email to me from the teacher to notify me of a “troublesome incident on the playground.” The “instigator,” as her Teacher referred to him, really scared my Kenzie, when he aggressively pulled her hair and ponytail while she was up high on a climber preparing to go down the slide. The teacher explained it was unprovoked and that while she dealt with the instigator, another teacher comforted Kenzie and reassured her that it is never okay for someone to hurt her. Apparently she was hysterical as I’m sure she feared she’d fall backwards off the climber which is high above the ground.

Ironically, my daughter never told me about this more dramatic incident which really makes me wonder and worry what else might be going on that no one is seeing.

I’m glad she’s not yet facing the terror of Mean Girls or the emotional drama that comes with it; but I certainly don’t want to subject her to any kind of physical harm. Even worse, I fear this behavior could somehow teach her that “hitting” is somehow okay and/or this will make her a less confident individual.

Honestly, I’m at a loss over how I should resolve the preschool bully drama. I think I need to remind and council my daughter that words are always a solution to conflict, but these are unprovoked attacks, not a fight over a toy. I don’t want her to just stand defenseless time and time again.

I imagine a pre-school bully’s punch is likely a minor issue, but I fear the psychological ramifications more than any overall physical harm. Then again, maybe I’m making much ado about nothing.

What’s a parent to do when a little bully strikes again and again? Do we stay out of it? Or do I need to be that Mom who makes a stink over this other child’s actions?

This is an original post to the Philly Mom Blog.

—By Colleen Padilla, PHILADELPHIA MOMS BLOG

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This is an original post from the Philadelphia Moms Blog, http://www.phillymomsblog.com. Colleen Padilla is a busy and energetic mother of 2 who spends her free time, between diapers and nursery rhymes, blogging and reviewing products on her website, Classy Mommy.com (http://www.classymommy.com/) .

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