Dear Babs: Can my son keep us his college GPA?

Posted in Mom Stuff
by besttech

My son is going to University of Kentucky in the fall and I am worried that he will become distracted by his newfound freedom. He’s had some trouble in the past focusing when there are social distractions. I don’t expect him to live like a monk, but if I’m footing the bill, I don’t want him to squander his education on parties. Maybe I’m overreacting, but do you have motivational advice, for both me and for him?

— Meddling Mommy

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Dear Meddling,

Freshman year of college can be an exciting and challenging time for a teen. They are thrust into a totally new environment, forced to make friends from scratch, and expected to study to boot. You are not wrong to be worried — many students “slip” their first semester, as they do not yet have the knack for balancing school with friends. Sometimes, it seems like the only way to meet new people is to shirk work and go out and party.

If your son has had a history of this mindset in the past, then by all means, don’t wait until first-semester grades come in to explain the meaning of “higher education” to him. Let him know you’re proud he got his college acceptance and happy to pay for school — but he has to work for it. If he cannot buckle down and study, you are not responsible for paying for four years of partying. One of the hardest lessons any parent can learn is when to cut the purse strings. Instead of starting with negative reinforcement, i.e. “If you don’t get all B’s, I won’t pay for …” why not try positive reinforcement? Promise him some extra spending money if he keeps up the good grades. Maybe his reward will be to go on the freshman ski trip, spring break holiday or just pocket money. That way, he won’t be losing out on necessary funds (like tuition or book fees) but he will have a clear incentive to keep up the GPA.

A new Web site, GradeFund (http://www.gradefund.com/), enables donors (in this case, you) to sponsor a student (your son) to reward them for grades earned. For each high grade he receives, you can promise a certain dollar amount. He must submit his transcript to the Web site in order to make sure his grades are correct. This way, there are no “ifs, ands or buts” if his grades don’t meet expectations. If he earns the grades, he’s earned your support. Period.

—From CampusCompare.com

Got a question for Babs? E-mail her at dearbabs@campuscompare.com, or log on to read more at http://www.campuscompare.com/parents.