The corner of the couch

Posted in Mom Stuff
by Lisa Roberson

I don’t consider myself a lovey-dovey person.

I like my space. I don’t like to be touched too much or smothered. I think the beauty of living room sets comes in the fact that there is ample seating (or at least there should be) for everyone. There is no need for everyone to sit in the same chair.

And, I tell my kids this often.

My daily mantra is “please just give mommy five feet.”

Still, for some reason unbeknownst to be, my children and I sit together in the same corner of the couch. Every night.

This is not by my design.

I would say that there is assigned seating in our home.

I like to sit in the far left corner of the couch nearest the wall and nearest the television, when we are watching television as a family. I like to watch television with the closed caption on, but if I can’t see the words, having it on is pointless.

In the rest of my living room there is ample floor space (perfect for messy kids who love to drip ice cream or fruit punch on my couch), a love seat and the right side of the couch. Yet, each day after dinner the evening’s festivities always turn into a screaming, pushing and shoving match with my 10-year-old and 3-year-old desperately fighting to sit as close to me as they can while sitting as far away from each other as possible.

Let me be the first one to tell you: This is impossible.

The 10-year-old wants to sit on my right side. She absolutely thinks she is my right hand girl, so where else should she sit. This is fine when it’s just her. She understands that if she is going to sit this close she must sit still. Nothing annoys me more than fidgeting.

However, my 3-year-old is the epitome of fidgeting. He squirms, giggles, kicks at the ear, rubs your arm if he’s within reach and generally acts as if he has ants in his pants all the time. This does not mix when he also wants to sit on my right side.

He attempts to squeeze in between the two of us and I inch closer to the corner of the couch.

Squeeze. Inch. Squeeze. Inch. Squeeze. Inch.

Eventually I am wedged so far into the corner my left arm starts to go numb and I’m seconds from pushing everyone on the floor.

My mother always tells me to cherish those moments because they won’t last for ever.

She is probably right.

I’m sure in 20 years I will look back and long for the moments when my children do nothing but fight over who can sit next to me. But until then, I think I will look into investing in a bigger couch or at least one with a stronger corner.

–Lisa Roberson

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