The pain of separation – for mom

Posted in Mom Stuff
by Alicia Castelli

The fact that I’m not a young woman anymore was rudely brought home to me this weekend when I lost a foot race to my 9-year-old son, Ryan. The icing on the cake was that I hurt myself in the process.
My oldest has become increasingly less of a “little boy” and more aware of the fact that he’s fast approaching double-digits in age. We’ll deal with how it’s even possible that my baby is almost 10 years old another time…
So, the family is gathered on a beautiful fall Sunday to celebrate my nephew’s 3rd birthday. We throw around a Frisbee and there’s an impromptu game of softball with grandpa on the mound.
Apparently, this was not enough to burn off the cake buzz the kids had so they began to race each other around the back yard. Feeling pretty good from having beaten all the younger children, Ryan decided to add me to his list of victims.
He’d actually beaten me a couple of days earlier, but he wanted to impress his grandma with his speed. I was willing to be publicly humiliated in front of my family for the sake of his self esteem. Little did I know…
I was actually in the lead until I neared the swing set. My brother’s backyard takes a small dip here and then goes slightly uphill. With the thick grass, I didn’t notice the topography until it was too late.
I heard the collective gasp followed by hilarity on the deck as I stumbled badly and nearly went headlong into the wooden fence. Thankfully, I managed to stop myself, but it cost me. I wrenched my ankle and pulled a groin muscle. I finished the race anyway (always teaching…) and, laughing at myself, climbed painfully onto the deck.
Ryan was high-fiving his grandma and I took a lot of good-natured ribbing for my graceless efforts and my sound defeat at the hands of my own son. Et tu, Ryan?
I can deal with Ryan calling me “mom” instead of “mommy” and I can deal with not being allowed to kiss or hug him if there are other kids within five miles and I can deal with the loss of our bedtime tuck-in routine.
I cannot deal with him outrunning me. Probably because I know that is precisely what he’s going to be doing from now on – running away from his parents in one way or another.
It’s heartbreaking for me to see Ryan growing into an actual person even though I know it’s my job to see that he does. I just wish he would slow it down. Just a little.