“No Dribbling the Squid” by Michael J. Rosen with Ben Kassoy
c.2009, Andrews McMeel Publishing
$12.99 / $15.99 Canada
Terri Schlichenmeyer, The Bookworm Sez
This year, like last, you tried out for your favorite sport. And this year, like last, you made the team. So far, you’ve proven yourself to be a definite asset.
I mean, seriously, somebody’s got to hold down the bench and shout encouragement, right? What would the team do without you?
Okay, so you’re not the World’s Greatest Athlete. But you may have talents (or you may lack brains), and that will help you compete in a sport that’s a little less-than-mainstream. Start looking for your game by reading “No Dribbling the Squid” by Michael J. Rosen with Ben Kassoy.
Let’s say your talent lies in the water. You’re a first-rate swimmer and you can execute a respectable dive. So why not look into barefooting or swooping? You might also enjoy bog snorkeling, which is – yes, indeed – snorkeling in a swamp, or Octopush, which tests your lungs to the max. And about that diving…? You’d do really well at Splashdiving, no doubt.
Or maybe you love snow but skiing is too old-school for you. How about forming a team for Japanese Snowball Fighting, Outhouse Racing, or Shovel Racing? Or get Fido and Smokey the horse involved and learn skijoring. You can also tap into your need for speed with ice racing, either by car or bike.
Everybody has different abilities, so let’s say you’re best at spitting. Check out watermelon, corn, and cricket spitting contests. Or, if you’re really brave and not easily grossed-out, you can learn the fine art of Kudu Dung spitting. (Yes, you read that right. Dung. Eeeuuuw.)
If a good fight is what makes your blood heat up, there are lots of sports in which you can participate. Try Chess Boxing, which uses both your brain and your body. Florentine Sandbox Brawling might be a good challenge, or perhaps you’d more enjoy Shin Kicking contests.
But let’s say you don’t have any particular talent. There’s still a sport for you: if you can sit, try the World Sauna Championships. Give Toe-Wrestling a try. And if all else fails, you can always contact the World RPS Society (Rock, Paper, Scissors).
Is your teen’s team tanking this year? If so, or if you’ve got a thrill-seeker in the house, “No Dribbling the Squid” would be a welcome winter diversion.
Authors Michael J. Rosen and Ben Kassoy went to the ends of the earth to find the most extreme sports, the silliest pastimes, the most unique rivalries, and competitions that are taken very seriously. Some of them appear to require more bravery than brains, while some are so simple that anyone of any age can compete.
The one caveat I had is that the authors mention alcohol in a few of the sports, in a you’d-have-to-be-crazy-or-drunk-to-do-this kind of way. Because this book is very much for males ages 15-to-25, that surprised me, and it surely bears noting.
Still, if competition is key, then “No Dribbling the Squid” is the book to have. This is the perfect book for anyone who’s game for the game.
Contact Terri Schlichenmeyer at email@example.com.