Feeling the defeat of motherhood

Posted in Mom Stuff
by Melissa Linebrink

On this week before Mother’s Day, I have come to the conclusion that some women were born to be mothers and others should just stick to owning dogs.

Since having the twins in July 2008, only on two occasions have I felt defeated as a mother. And by that I mean something or someone has come in my way of accomplishing what I set out to do.

I blame my parents for teaching me to do things for myself, not wait for someone to do them for me. In other words, they raised a very independent girl.

Sometime in the fall of 2009, before the babies were big enough to sit in grocery carts with the dual bucket seats, I made the mistake of taking them to a local grocery store – one that has a “giant bird” in its name. I thought since that store had the “bird nest” that I could drop the twins off in this daycare center-of-sorts and linger through the grocery store shopping for a few items I was in dire need of – mainly at the time it was toilet paper and diapers, oh, and some bananas.

I put Derek in the stroller and carried Katie into the store with one arm, in the pouring down rain, all while avoiding being hit by a woman driving a van in the parking lot. I think the sound of my scream to this woman woke up the entire north side of Elyria.

Anyways, as I strolled on into the store, feeling proud of myself that I had thus far managed to get into the store in one piece, I headed to the “bird nest” where I could not wait to drop them off so I could shop in peace.

Then the woman spoke the words I never wanted to hear: “I cannot take them. They have to be 3 years old.”

“Well, what am I suppose to do?” – I said to the young woman standing in front of me.

She just shrugged as if to say, “Sorry about your luck lady!”

I decided I could push the stroller AND a shopping cart at the same time. I multitask every other moment of my life, why should this be any different?

It was. It was very different, and difficult.

I managed to toss in a bunch of bananas before fleeing the store with the twins – leaving the bananas in the abandoned cart.

Once I made it to my vehicle, I called Seth, sobbing (Note: Never call your husband or loved one during a rainstorm when he knows you are driving).

“What’s wrong?” Seth asked me.

“I wasn’t able to go to the grocery store. We need food!” I sobbed into the phone.

“Well, from now on, we will just go at night,” he said.

“OK” I whimpered.

From that day on, I never cried over someone telling me they could not help me – until today.

However, today I didn’t cry, I got mad.

Before the babies were born, Seth and I had our wills drawn up, making Ethan the sole beneficiary of our estate and possessions. Yet, we recently decided to add Katie and Derek to the will – you know, so that everything would be fair and square in the event something should happen to us.

So, I called our attorney, who charged us an arm and a leg the first time around to draw up the will, to see what needed to be done now.

At first, her administrative assistant told me it would be $150 to draw up a will. Did she not understand my phone message? All we need to do is ADD two little names to the will; I do not need a new will. (Personally, I think discussing the will is a bit morbid.) Well, she wasn’t sure how much she would charge to add the two names.

Then, I stupidly thought just Seth could go, add the names and take care of this.

Nope, apparently we both need to be present for the changes. I’d rather have my wisdom teeth pulled again than listen to an attorney talk to me in attorney-language.

When I asked her why we both needed to be there, the lady told me the attorney likes to see both clients.

“Well, that is going to be tough since I don’t have a babysitter. I am a stay-at-home-mom,” I told her.

WOW, I think I heard her eyeballs pop of her head when I said “I don’t have a babysitter.”

“Well, don’t you have someone that watches your children when you and your husband go out to dinner on the weekends?” the administrative secretary asked me.

“Uh, no,” I said, wanting so badly to ask her if she was willing to come babysit this weekend for us so we could go out to dinner.

“What about your parents?” she said.

“They live three hours away,” I replied.

“Oh,” was the only word left for her to use for my dilemma.

“I will have to get back with you,” I told her and hung up.

Then I called Seth to complain and asked him to call her tomorrow.

I wonder if she would have asked a man the same questions she asked of me today … the things that make you go “Hmmm?”






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