Cheetah Boy’s perfect class schedule

Posted in school
by Lorain County Moms

By Marla Jo Fisher, The Orange County Register

It’s time for students to pick their elective courses for next year, and let’s just say that my son and I don’t see eye-to-eye about what he should study in the eighth grade.

If Cheetah Boy had his druthers, eighth grade would consist of four daily P.E. classes, plus one section as a teacher aide for P.E., plus learning to speak Italian.

I feel he doesn’t really need to speak Italian until he buys me a house in Tuscany, which is probably not going to happen for at least 10 years.

I know, I know. Some of you think I should let him choose his own electives, but it’s just not going to happen. He’s going to learn Spanish, so he can speak to my neighbors when I retire to Puerto Vallarta.

You may notice that I haven’t mentioned Curly Girl in this column, even though she’s going off to sixth grade middle school next year. That’s because we agreed in about 30 seconds that she should take chorus, art and marine biology. So far, we’re in perfect harmony.
Sigh, if only her brother weren’t such a boy.

My idea of a good schedule for Cheetah Boy:

  • Really Hard Algebra That Mom Doesn’t Have to Help Him With
  • English Literature and Composition
  • Cooking for Fun and Profit
  • The Art of Hanging the Bathroom Towel
  • How to Remove Germs from Household Surfaces
  • Why You Shouldn’t Waste All Your Money on Junk Food
  • 100 Reasons to Never Get a Motorcycle
  • Ways to Fix Mom’s Computer When It Goes On the Fritz

Cheetah Boy’s idea of a good schedule:

  • Algebra for Athletes, aka Who Cares The Game is Friday
  • How to Text in Class Without Getting Your Phone Taken Away
  • The Comic Book as Literature: The Garfield Years
  • Drivers Training for Adolescents
  • Italian for People who Like Pizza
  • Baseball Practice for Extreme Jocks
  • Creative Video Gaming
  • Ways to Use Mom’s Computer to Watch Goopy Music Videos

Is there any room for compromise? I guess time will tell on that one.

Marla Jo Fisher was a workaholic before she adopted two foster kids several years ago. Now she juggles work and single parenting, while being exhorted from everywhere to be thinner, smarter, sexier, healthier, more frugal, a better mom, better dressed and a tidier housekeeper. Contact her at mfisher@ocregister.com. Read her blog at http://themomblog.freedomblogging.com/category/frumpy-middleaged-mom-marla-jo-fisher/.

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