Day care hunt: One couple’s taxing search

Posted in Babysitting
by Lorain County Moms

By Aisha Sultan, St. Louis Post-Dispatch

Amani Roland recently returned to her job after her 12-week maternity leave. Her husband, Eric, a law professor, took over primary responsibility for caring for their newborn. Eric returns to work mid-August, and with no family in town, the couple have been researching child care options.

Question: What was the most difficult part of returning to work?

Amani: Not being with her most of the day. You’re worried you’re going to miss something important. And then, my second day at work, she ended up getting sick. We took her to the doctor, and then I was worried about not being there when she was sick. I wanted to be there to comfort her.

Q: What was the most challenging thing for you, Eric?

Eric: I’m not terribly well-organized, so just trying to find the routine for the day. She demands all your attention. If I have errands to run or stuff to do, it’s about trying to make sure our schedules overlap, mine and Ailsa’s. She mostly dictates how our day goes. Our big thing at the moment is that I take her to Amani’s work at lunchtime, and they spend an hour together. That makes it easier.

Amani: It makes it easier for both of us.

Q: How is the day-care search going?

Amani: We’ve looked at a couple of places. A lot of places have waiting lists, so it’s been difficult.

Q: How did you decide on day care versus getting a nanny?

Eric: With day care you can go in and take a look at how it is. It takes a little less time to see if it is working out. We can see them interacting with children. You get an immediate sense of how things are working, and what their philosophy is.

Amani: We want her to be around other kids, and in a day care, she’ll get some social activity.

Eric: She’s very social. Even now, she’s quite a chatterbox. She loves to interact with other people.

Q: What will you do if you can’t get into a day care?

Amani: I feel pretty confident that we will find something. It may be a little more than we wanted to pay.

Were you surprised at the cost?

Amani: Yes. We were recommended to check out some places, and I was thinking it would be $500-$600 for part-time care. It’s more like $1,100 a month for three days a week. That was one of the places we liked.

Eric: Even the next one down, it was expensive.

Q: Any surprises that have come up in the search?

Amani: I do feel somewhat limited. When I’ve asked for recommendations, (friends have) named the same three places that are close to both our offices.

Eric: They fill up so quickly.

Amani: At one point, we visited one that said they would have openings in September. We waited 10 days to put in an application, and by the time we called back, they said they had a waiting list.

Eric: One place gave us a one-page application and said, ‘If we have space, we’ll give you a 20-page detailed form to fill out.” That was another surprise. How much stuff you have to fill out.

Amani: We have an infant, and one application asked a lot of personality questions. She was 2 months old; we weren’t sure how to fill that out. She didn’t have too much of a personality at that point.

Eric: When you are dealing with a 6-week-old kid, all that stuff is overwhelming at the time. And, the form asked, “What does she like to do at home?” Well, she likes to sleep, cry and eat. Now, she likes to do other stuff.

Q: Has anything made the transition into parenthood easier?

Eric: Because we don’t have family in town, having friends with small kids is essential. A wife of a friend of mine has inducted me into the things to do with small kids.

At the moment, since I’m new at it, I’m still trying to find things to do with her that entertain her and keep me moderately engaged. The art museum and zoo have been lifesavers. I take her around the pictures (at the art museum), and we talk about the pictures. It’s been very good for me. I’m discovering the art museum, and it’s kind of fun for her.

Amani: I had three co-workers who recently had children, who I’ve gone to for advice or recommendations. They are very understanding. It made the transition a lot easier.