Ten positive parenting tips to keep athletes on a path for life success

Posted in Sports
by Lorain County Moms

By Jack Perconte, McClatchy-Tribune

Notice the headline of this article says “life success” and not athletic success. There is a difference. Many athletes have success on the playing fields but fail in life when it comes to relationships and off-the-field success when their career is over.

Most people believe sports are beneficial to help keep kids on the path to success because of the valuable life lessons that can be learned. We’ve all heard the stories of athletes making poor decisions off the field, though.

Both the path to success and the path to failure are determined by adults involved with youth sports.

How should parents act so that athletes can get on and stay on the path to life success? This answer lies in the “analysis” that adults provide athletes. It is common and necessary for parents to analyze their son or daughter’s sports performance. How, when and how parents deliver this analysis is the key to making their child’s experience a success or failure. When parents are honest but caring and unafraid of using the correct discipline when kids get off course, they will keep kids on the path to success.

With this in mind, the following are things adults can do to keep children on the proper path:

1. Think before you speak. Parents should not be impulsive when it comes to analyzing their kid’s performance. Consider a child’s feelings before talking.
2. Wait before you speak. A cooling down period for all is advised before commenting on a child’s game.
3. Discipline, when needed. Parents should never allow kids to get away with inappropriate behavior because they are successful on the playing fields. Discipline can be as much positive parenting as any other action.
4. Smile before you speak. A smile is the best tension reducer for all and is a good way to tell your child that what you have to say is important, but is given with understanding.
5. Think long term before you analyze. Parents who understand that there are ups and downs in every athlete’s career will say things that are helpful, but not overly urgent.
6. Praise before you analyze and before offering constructive criticism. Parents should learn to lead with positive statements before giving the negative analysis. “I liked the way you did such and such out there, maybe try this when this situation happens the next time” is an example of such prefacing.
7. Teach the importance of practice and hard work. Parents, who practice with and encourage kids to practice, without forcing them, give kids a chance for success.
8. Separate effort from results. Results are unpredictable, but effort is directly under an athlete’s control. When the effort is not what you would expect, within reason, there is nothing wrong with saying this to kids in as positive a way as possible. When results are not what are expected, but the effort was there, parents should never be negative in any way.
9. Be honest, but compassionate. Honesty and not false praise is the best policy.
10. Listen. Kids say as much with their expressions and actions as they do with their voices. Parents who pay attention to all of these will understand their kid’s real desires.

One of my favorite sayings and the theme of most of my writings about youth sports is, “negativity rarely, if ever inspires.” It is important to note that parents can display a positive tone even when discipline is necessary. Finally, kids, who experience positive, encouraging and inspiring adults, will remain on a path for life success.

Jack Perconte played 12 years of professional baseball. After retiring from professional baseball in 1987, Perconte opened a baseball training academy in Naperville, Ill. The hitting drills, mental training and coaching tips found in “The Making of a Hitter” (www.themakingofahitter.com) were culled from the 60,000 hitting lessons Perconte estimates he gave while operating the academy. He has also written “Raising an Athlete,” and writes for the blog http://positiveparentinginsports.com.