Road to the Oscars: ‘War Horse’

Posted in movies
by Lorain County Moms

By Traci Arbios, TheFullMoxie.com

Let it be said that I hate horse movies. I don’t know why, exactly; maybe because I was never one of those little girls that wanted a pony. Whatever. So when I was sitting on the couch eating a ham sandwich and watching “Extreme Home Makeover” On Demand and the commercial for “War Horse” came on, incessantly, during every break, I vowed I wouldn’t watch it. The commercial, I mean. I refused. I got so annoyed with the stupid images of a stupid horse leaping out of stupid, freaking foggy war-torn situations and people saying stupid, melodramatic things like, “I’ll look after him,” that I would turn away from the TV, close my eyes and sing loudly. (Also I misplaced the remote. Plus, it was one of those annoying On Demand shows that won’t let you fast forward. RUDE.)

Why would I go see a movie about war? And a horse? And since there’s no little girl in the movie that triumphs in a close race, or gets thrown from the horse to her impending death (thus tearing apart the love of a Southern belle and her beau); nor did the storyline appear to have anything to do with vampires; address the capture of a serial killer; deal with a cancer victim overcoming terrible odds; feature giant blue people and their lives on another planet; nor address in any way the end of the silent film era; I figured no one else on the planet would be seeing it, either.

Except like most horse-related things, I was wrong.

Being the intrepid reporter I am, I decided that I would take this assignment seriously and skip the flick (BECAUSE I HATE HORSE MOVIES), save my 10 bucks and interview my 12-year old daughter — who saw the film last weekend — instead.

The Full Moxie: Gabby, thank you for taking the time to speak with me today and sharing your thoughts on the Oscar nominated film, “War Horse.” Critics the world over have lauded director Steven Spielberg’s latest work as “Technically superb, proudly sentimental and unabashedly old-fashioned” — essentially, yet another jewel in his cinematic crown. What were your thoughts?

Gabby: It was really depressing. It was during the war and I just hated it.

TFM: Powerful statements. I understand it’s a very emotional drama about a young man who enlists in the service after his beloved horse is sold to the cavalry. The film follows the young man’s experiences as he traverses Europe during World War I. That sounds potentially distressing.

Gabby: …

TFM: What did you think of the horse?

Gabby: The horse was pretty awesome, but that’s it. The horse was basically the highlight of the movie.

TFM: Did they focus on the horse very much?

Gabby: All the time. He went through all these bad things and made it out every time. It was just depressing. I almost fell asleep. Ohmygawd. I don’t recommend it. Unless you want to cry.

Deciding I needed to do further research, I approached Carter, my 15-year old, who also saw the film. Carter is a huge military buff and has read many leather-bound books on both the World Wars.

TFM: Carter, thank you for taking the time to speak with me today about the film “War Horse.” Tell me, did you like the film?

Carter: Very much, yes.

TFM: And what, particularly, did you like most about the film?

Carter: I liked how the story of the horse throughout the movie intertwines with the story of the boy who owned the horse.

TFM: Were there any vampires in the film?

Carter: There is a lack of vampires in the film.

TFM: What about little girls?

Carter: One, but she died.

And that, dear reader, describes exactly why I won’t waste my $10. Although the dead girl does sound promising, in that it reminds me subtly of “Gone with the Wind,” I seriously doubt this horse ever made a dress out of curtains. My rating: F. Go see “The Artist.”

Traci Arbios is a mom, stepmom, adoptive mom and working mom. She lives with and writes about her blended family of seven kids, two pets and one amazingly patient husband at www.thefullmoxie.com. Find her on Facebook at Facebook.com/TheFullMoxie; contact her at traci@thefullmoxie.com; or zap her on twitter, @traciAWESOME.