Packing for my guilt trip

I love my family. I really love them. And I really love waving goodbye to them in the rearview mirror. I’m taking off for a weekend in Chicago, to spend time with my best friend, see her new house and, yes, get away from home. I am not the first to strike out in this brave new world of mommy freedom apparently it’s a trend, complete with a trendy name: Mommycation. But it turns out my carry-on is going to be weighted down a bit on this jaunt. My 4-year-old, newly enrolled in the Drama Queen theater department, will be handing me some lovely guilt to take along for the ride.

She’s a couch flopper, this child. Upon hearing news that offends her sensibilities (such as, “Mommy has book club tonight.” or “We ran out of dark chocolate...

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Unplanning parenthood and minding your mommy brain

Many years ago — before, the hormonal super wave hit and my world turned PG-13 — I used to be quite the planner and followed a very strict regime of making lists for, well, everything. Especially, if in a course of one event, I had more than one thing to do, I made a list:

Shop for groceries

Shop for paper products

Make place tags

Make party favors

Clean house and decorate

Go to the bathroom

Flush toilet

Even made my kids’ birthday cakes (thank you, FamilyFun magazine) and then, I dunno, around the time my youngest (she’s 7) entered kindergarten, three years ago, I think,...

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What kind of TV show is my life?

If I had to pick a genre of TV show that bests summarizes my what would it be? Let’s evaluate our options.

DRAMA

Some days with two little ones it is all about drama. Even the smallest happening during the day turns into a momentous event that could span across hours. We spill a drink and the overacting begins.

We’ve had our trips to the ER. They’ve ranged from jaundice to pneumonia to head bangs to our personal favorite — a booger in the nose we thought was a breathing problem. With two boys, I’m sure we will be regulars on this show.

Other days, I appear as the Desperate Housewife Lynette who feels overwhelmed with being a working mom. My house is a mess, my kids...

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Spring! Spring! Spring! Clean?

I couldn’t stand it anymore. For any of you who have been happily afflicted by the knitting bug, you will understand that yarn begins to take over everything — your under-bed areas, your ottomen (that’s plural of ottoman in our house), your window seats and attics and worst of all, the office.

I’m a writer, and I have a (half) room of my own, but mostly I find I must run to the library, the Barnes & Noble with a cafe, the relative privacy of the kids’ swing-set platform to write new things. I need to be away from all those paper, plastic and tchotchke reminders of who I am and what I need to do — the $2 check for school pencils, the 16,000 camp forms, the Burt’s Bees hand cream, the tiny wooden house my husband gave me when we...

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Surviving … in sickness and in health

Cold and flu season is upon us, and hopefully my marriage will survive! There are really very few things my husband and I argue about. Who is “sicker” is one of the few and one of the most ridiculously childish. With the exception of the kids, there is little empathy for the infirm around here. My husband is sick right now, which explains why he just barreled angrily out the door to work after our nasty exchange of words, leaving the tea I was making him in a travel mug behind to make some sort of dramatic statement. Fine by me … I got to drink it.

I caused the argument; I’m fully aware of this. I was not very supportive of his illness complaints, to which he was well entitled. I gave him the tried and true “Suck it Up” attitude...

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My kid fell off the couch and other stories from club motherhood

My sister called me last week in hysterics after her “immobile” 5-month-old somehow rolled off the couch.

Yet while she was crying, I was laughing and welcoming her into club motherhood—which is marked by all of the unexpected, traumatic and nerve-wracking things we experience as moms.

After all, my son rolled off the couch 6 months earlier. And as I sat there hysterical, all of my mom friends on twitter assured me that I wasn’t a bad mother and unexpected spills off high objects are often the first right of passage into club motherhood. (I mean what first time mom imagines that her kid will go from completely sedentary to rolling in one day?!)

And of course, I can’t help but think of all...

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Healthy living in a bad economy

The Economy. Oh, such loaded words today.

There are a billion ways I could talk about how the current economic downturn has affected my family (a smaller bank account, jobs in jeopardy), but there is one particular area that is on my mind.

Food.

In an effort to find positivity in a pretty bleak time, I’ve made steps to fend off the depressing financial woes by engaging my family into a healthier lifestyle. My logic? If we all feel better it might take some of the sting of reality away.

I am preparing meals at home more often. I am attempting to cut out a lot of processed foods. And, personally, I am on a quest to lose weight. Things have been going swimmingly, until I...

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Raising a social butterfly

I didn’t realize that the popularity contests started so young, as early as preschool — maybe even earlier. My first child has autism and social situations are challenging for him, to put it mildly. Friends are few and far between and he rarely gets invited to birthday parties or playdates. But who has time for that anyway?

Instead of birthday parties and playdates it was always therapy, school and doctor’s appointments for him.

My daughter, on the other hand, at the tender age of 4 is quite popular. The mailbox overflows with birthday party invites and I’m constantly trying to sandwich in playdates around her daily pre-k and weekly dance class schedule. I love the fact that she has lots of friends and a social...

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The Shag, the Up-Do and The Mom

As a mother, at what point does it become necessary to cut your losses? Or, in this case, tresses? Many of my friends chopped theirs after having children, a ‘do I jokingly refer to as “The Mom.” (Like “the bob,” only not unstylish on purpose.) I never understood why the sudden change to “The Mom” — until the day my hair slipped into my face while I was feeding the baby. I wasn’t able to swipe it away without disturbing her, so I was forced to sit there helplessly wriggling my nose and trying not to sneeze (or curse loudly). As traumatic as that was, and regardless of how many times that same ridiculous scenario has played out since, I have refused to cut my hair.

I have long hair. Several inches past my shoulders,...

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Not fair!

My sister is in Hawaii. She’s been sending me photos from her cell phone; you know the kind, so achingly beautiful you have to gasp at how incredible the world is, then vomit because someone is actually there and you’re not. But it’s OK, because one of my husband’s fraternity brothers lives there, and is getting married in June. So we’ve got a trip planned to Hawaii, and I’m really looking forward to it. My husband has been checking flights, we’ve been talking about places to stay, what to do with the baby. And then my husband says, “I’m not sure we’re going to be able to go.”

Now I’m angry. Why? “The baby,” he says. I respond that her recent clingy behavior is just a phase, and she’ll be fine by next June, she’ll...

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